The thing is, at the beginning of this year, I had looked at all the assignments and projects for the year and thought that my plate was pretty much full. So I decided I wouldn't take on anymore work. But soon after that, an offer came to do some academic writing and I couldn't refuse as it's something I've grown to love during the two years in Bible college! I thought this must be it, no more after this! However, God has proven time and again that whenever I say never, I would soon come to regret it. A week before the said prayer meeting, He had shown me a need and directed me to offer myself to meet that need. I've learnt not to struggle for too long because He always wins me over, so I said yes.
And God started to show me the answer to the question, "Will you allow God to be great in you?" If I only venture to do the things that I can cope with on my own strength, then I don't need God in me to accomplish all that. But if I obey His directions to take on tasks that are beyond my abilities, then I would only be able to work through them if God works through me. Therefore, when I become weak when faced with those insurmountable challenges, and His power in me helps me to overcome them, God becomes great in me!
In fact, when I look back, I see how this has happened many times in my life whenever I yield to His leading and attempt incredible things. Like when He told me to quit my job and be a fulltime mom. I had absolutely no idea how to take care of babies and children, cook, and do housework (my mom is a progressive who didn't believe that her daughter's place should be in the kitchen!) But He not only enabled me to learn to take care of my family, He also led me to mentor other moms. Even older moms sometimes look to me for advice on parenting!
And then when I thought I had gotten my act together, He told my husband and I to start a music ministry from scratch, outside the church, without any finances and personnel other than the two of us. To cut a long story short, after just about five years, we had reached out to tens of thousands of youth and had a team of over a hundred volunteers!
Which was when He told us to drop everything and undertake a postgraduate course in a Bible college in the UK. We had neither the money nor the brains for it. After all, the only reading I had done in more than 10 years were the Bible and books on parenting. We also didn't have any prior theological training. Plus, how were we to move our whole family to the UK? What would we do about the children's education? Well, again He worked in and around us and now we have come back from the UK to Singapore, with our Masters degrees! In addition, the children slipped right back into the schools here and performed marvellously well in their national exams.
I am not saying all this to boast about our achievements and success. In fact, I'm boasting about how weak I had felt every time He called me to something seemingly impossible. Yet, each time He said, "My grace is sufficient for you." And when I had struggled enough and eventually said yes to Him, I allowed Him to be great in me and His power worked through me to do whatever He wanted. So, will you also allow Him to be great in you?
