Talking about suicide with our kids

Recently, there's been a lot of talk about how videos and social media are influencing children and young people to attempt/commit suicide (just google '13 Reasons Why' and 'Blue Whale Challenge' and you'll see what I mean). Even more sadly, there has in fact been a string of copycat suicide attempts in the schools/social circles that our own children are in. However, most of them had been intercepted and/or their lives were spared. So we have had to chat with our children regularly on this topic and I thought I might as well share some of the tips that we've given to them with other parents, children and youth.

1. Look out for one another

Look out for friends around you who may be suicidal - they may actually say they want to die, or they may be in depression or feeling depressed especially after experiencing failure or something demoralising. Talk with them, pray with or for them, and most importantly, alert an adult who can help eg parent, teacher, counsellor, pastor.

2. Watch your thoughts

Watch out for suicidal thoughts in your own mind and replace them with 'good thoughts' cos our thoughts will influence our feelings and ultimately our actions and behaviour.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

So if we keep dwelling on worldly ways of thinking such as 'life is meaningless' and 'I'll be better off dead', then pretty soon we will start to believe them and act them out. Instead, we need to fill our minds with Godly thinking which will lead to a transformation of our lives. Here are some egs of 'good thoughts'. There are many more in the Bible, of course.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life." John 14:6a

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:31-34

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. Psalm 23:1-3a

3. Get help!

Whenever you feel like you can't cope, go to God in prayer and worship, and read the Bible. Also, approach someone who can give wise and Godly counsel (a trusted adult eg parents, teacher, counsellor, pastor, youth leader) to talk with and get support from.

Destiny Music

Warning: This is an authentic, sincere Auntie post! You've been warned... he he! Btw, in case you haven't noticed, the above image has obviously been photoshopped cos you can't possibly play more than one track simultaneously on Spotify!!

I must admit I'm pretty backward cos I only got onto Spotify a couple of months ago. Hard to believe but true! Haha!! Being a noob, I'm still exploring the different things it can do, like recommending the top acts in Singapore for me to listen to. Well, with Nathan Hartono's recent conquest (almost) of Sing! China, it's not surprising to find his photo representing this playlist. But as I scrolled down the list, I discovered that I actually recognised a few of the artists' names and that they had been through the doors of Destiny Music!! In fact, other than these names spotted on Spotify, there are also many other Destiny alumni who have become Youtube stars, taken part in national and international competitions and won or done very well, performed at all kinds of events all over the world, produced recordings and staged their own concerts and more!

For those of you who don't know, my husband and I co-founded and ran a music ministry for youth where we trained them and provided opportunities for them to perform and share their faith through music. Our aim was to raise up a generation of young people that would glorify God through their God-given talents in music and the arts. We weren't out to train worship leaders, mind you. Instead we wanted to see the light of Christ shine in the commercial music industry.

When the time came for us to wind up the ministry, there was quite a bit of reluctance on our part as well as among the young men and women who had grown up with us. (Some of them had joined us when they were just 12 or 13 years old.) At the time, we felt that we had already achieved what we set out to do - together with these more than a hundred young volunteers, we had reached out to tens of thousands of people with their songs and dances, through live performances and online videos. Not only that, many of these young musicians had also caught the vision of using their God-given talents for the glory of God.

However, as I look at what many of them are doing now, I realise that what we had achieved was much more than that, we had actually planted a seed in these youth that has continued to grow and bloom and bear fruit over the years.What a privilege it is to have partnered with God in the work that He's doing in these young people's lives! And I continue to pray and hope that they will keep that passion for God burning in them no matter how high or how far they go.

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.

1 Cor 3:6

Everyday Theology - from the young and the old

I've been leading pre-service prayer meetings in church almost every Sunday for the past three months. The two most regular attendees are my 11-year-old daughter and Auntie K who is a mighty prayer warrior in her 90's.

After the meeting, there's a 45-minute break before the service during which I sometimes get to chat with Auntie K and listen to her amazing stories of answered prayers. She is always quick to attribute all glory to God, reminding me of how little education she's had and how incapable she is of doing anything great. Well, yesterday she made a comment which got stuck in my head, "No matter what they say, don't let other people sidetrack you from doing what God wants you to do!" I made a mental note to make sure I remember her advice for life.

Later in the evening, during our family prayer time, our little girl seemed very much affected by what we had been praying for in the morning pre-service prayer - the war in Syria - and requested that we pray for the world to be a better place. (Let me know if you didn't immediately hear Heal the World playing in your head!) So we suggested that she lead us in prayer which she promptly did. The one phrase from her prayer that got stuck in my head was, "Please let people know that we should make friends and not enemies!"

As I thought about these two phrases today:
1. Don't get sidetracked
2. Make friends, not enemies
I realised that they had succinctly expressed Jesus' teachings in His Sermon on the Mount!

 ‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. (Matt 7:21)

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matt 5:44-45)

With 80 years' age difference between them and only primary school education (at least so far, for my girl,) what lovely gems of wisdom these two had spoken! You don't need to have a degree in theology to be a theologian. :)