NDP 2018 - the next generation, hope for the future

This was my favourite scene from the National Day Parade last night (celebrating the 53rd year of Singapore). My next favourite part would be the parallels drawn between those who literally built our nation in the past (Samsui women) and those who continue building in the present (foreign construction workers). Anyway, back to this photo! It shows the student uniformed groups marching up the spectator stands, waving at and high-fiving members of the audience. The commentary went something like this, "There's the symbolism of having these students embody the commitment, energy and dynamism of young Singaporeans as they chart a path to a greater future for Singapore."

Looking at these fresh, happy faces, I certainly felt the joy and hope for a bright future for them as individuals and for us all as a nation. However, I was moved not only by this. I had mixed feelings due to having heard about four young people aged between 18 and 21 who had taken their own lives, all within the past three weeks. These four were just like the young people featured at the parade, yet their course through life had ended abruptly. I had been grieving the loss of these young lives and the promise that each of them had held. So when I saw this portion of the NDP, the sense of hope for the next generation was once again revived in me!

It begs the question though, of what we must do to help and support these young people in order for them to achieve that bright future. Youth nowadays face much more pressures and stress than we did. Instead of the two exams a year I used to have, many of them now have to take weekly tests too. And while we who were in the performing arts groups had a year's break between each SYF competition, they are now made to enter various regional/international competitions during that in-between year.

Some may say we just need a structural change, a revamp of the education system for instance. Yet, I think that it requires everyone of us to have an attitude change. At the societal level, there is a cause-and-effect mentality where we expect certain results (output) after all the resources that have been invested (input) in our young. But we mustn't forget that these are individuals with unique interests, talents, challenges and struggles.

So regardless of whether you have a young person under your direct care or not, the next time you meet one, don't just ask them about their exams or results. Be genuinely interested in what they are passionate about, and show real concern for the burdens that they carry. We may not be able to change the system on our own, but by sharing our ears, hearts and love with them, we will make all the difference in their lives.

Destiny Music

Warning: This is an authentic, sincere Auntie post! You've been warned... he he! Btw, in case you haven't noticed, the above image has obviously been photoshopped cos you can't possibly play more than one track simultaneously on Spotify!!

I must admit I'm pretty backward cos I only got onto Spotify a couple of months ago. Hard to believe but true! Haha!! Being a noob, I'm still exploring the different things it can do, like recommending the top acts in Singapore for me to listen to. Well, with Nathan Hartono's recent conquest (almost) of Sing! China, it's not surprising to find his photo representing this playlist. But as I scrolled down the list, I discovered that I actually recognised a few of the artists' names and that they had been through the doors of Destiny Music!! In fact, other than these names spotted on Spotify, there are also many other Destiny alumni who have become Youtube stars, taken part in national and international competitions and won or done very well, performed at all kinds of events all over the world, produced recordings and staged their own concerts and more!

For those of you who don't know, my husband and I co-founded and ran a music ministry for youth where we trained them and provided opportunities for them to perform and share their faith through music. Our aim was to raise up a generation of young people that would glorify God through their God-given talents in music and the arts. We weren't out to train worship leaders, mind you. Instead we wanted to see the light of Christ shine in the commercial music industry.

When the time came for us to wind up the ministry, there was quite a bit of reluctance on our part as well as among the young men and women who had grown up with us. (Some of them had joined us when they were just 12 or 13 years old.) At the time, we felt that we had already achieved what we set out to do - together with these more than a hundred young volunteers, we had reached out to tens of thousands of people with their songs and dances, through live performances and online videos. Not only that, many of these young musicians had also caught the vision of using their God-given talents for the glory of God.

However, as I look at what many of them are doing now, I realise that what we had achieved was much more than that, we had actually planted a seed in these youth that has continued to grow and bloom and bear fruit over the years.What a privilege it is to have partnered with God in the work that He's doing in these young people's lives! And I continue to pray and hope that they will keep that passion for God burning in them no matter how high or how far they go.

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.

1 Cor 3:6

Dating & Divorce - a tip from the Brangelina breakup

Actually, I had been brooding on this thought for quite a while - probably a few months already! - but with some of the recent articles floating around online on dating, marriage, affairs, and divorce, I just had to voice my view. 

So, I'm sure most of you have read or heard about the Brangelina breakup. Well, I did too, no matter how hard I try to avoid reading about Hollywood scandals and all. But I did come across a rather interesting article on the topic. It refers to a study which revealed that "second marriages... have a higher rate of divorce, as do marriages that come out of affairs." And the psychotherapist being interviewed explained, “If someone has been capable of being disrespectful and dishonest with someone they cared about in the past, there is a possibility they can do that to you. Anyone can cheat, but this is a bigger risk.” I also read recently about how, sadly, the divorce rate in Singapore has risen.

So here's my two cents' worth! The thing is, when young people are dating, they will say or write stuff to each other like, "I will always love you!" or "I'm yours forever!" or "You can count on me!" etc etc... And although there isn't any formal contract, unlike in a marriage, such verbal and written promises they make are still promises that ought to be kept. But of course, most of these become empty promises when they break up. So the more they pair up and break up, the more 'practice' they have in making and then not keeping their promises. Later, when they get married, doesn't it then become much more likely for them to break their promise to each other since it's become a habit? After all, the marriage license is merely a piece of paper and can be easily annulled through divorce. It takes commitment on both sides to keep their vows in order for them to stay married for life. Therefore, in the same way that a history of extra-marital affairs points to a higher rate of divorce, I feel strongly that a culture of casual dating also leads to the same.

That's why I was quite surprised when I read the bad press on Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I'm not out to defend his book cos I'm not 100% convinced about everything he wrote in it either. But I do believe the general principle that one should wait till you are ready for marriage to embark on dating/courtship (or whatever you call it) rather than for teens to start dating casually is wise advice. There are many reasons for me to say so, but one of them is that just by postponing dating to a slightly older and more mature age means that you will (hopefully) be less likely to make empty promises. You would also have less 'practice' in breaking your promises since you would probably have been involved in fewer break ups. And as a result, when you do find someone whom you are happy to marry, you would not have formed the bad habit of breaking your promises and would thus have a lower risk of ending in divorce.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that this is a foolproof method for zero divorce. There's no guarantee in human relationships as we're all imperfect. [Just an aside - that's why I think it's really naive and unfair of some of Joshua Harris' adherents-turned-critics to blame him for their divorces!] I'm also not saying that someone who's been through many relationships and breakups wouldn't be able to sustain a lifelong marriage. There are (thankfully) always exceptions to everything and of course, there is also God's grace at work in our lives! My hope is just that young people will seriously consider and re-consider before jumping into any dating relationships and think twice, even thrice, before they start making promises to each other. In this way, you would be more careful about keeping your promises in general and that would help you in building a lasting marriage in future.