You Say Who I Am and "Wreck-it Ralph 2" [Spoiler Alert!!!]

The other day, Aimee gleefully showed me what she had done with this old pencil sharpener of hers. It used to feature a Disney princess (can't remember which) but she had covered it up with this self-illustrated phrase, "You say who I am." I think this probably came about from a chat I had had with her last week. She was rather down because she couldn't cope with homework and all, on top of the heartache she was already suffering from as she had been told she mustn't dance for a month due to a leg injury. She absolutely loves to dance and in fact, dancing is therapeutic for her! So basically, she was feeling pretty helpless and worthless.

I prayed with her and said that God has made her with greater potential than she realises. So she needs to ask Him to reveal to her who He has made her to be, and what other God-given talents and abilities she has yet to discover. Then she must believe what God says, instead of the lies from the devil telling her she's not good enough, and live out the truth that God shows her about herself.

It's rather apt then that it was a Disney princess that got covered over on this sharpener, for most little girls define themselves according to the qualities of these fairy tale princesses. As they get older, of course they start to base their identity on what's prevalent in society, popular culture and media. The 'You' who tells them who they are is what they see on social media, and in movies and videos. As a result, many of them end up with low self-esteem and even become depressed or suicidal when they find that they can't measure up to these standards.

There's a scene in Wreck-it Ralph 2, where Vanellope crashes into the Disney princesses' changing room, and she goes through just such a struggle with her identity. The princesses are trying to figure out what kind of a princess she is and start to list all the qualities she should have. She fails all of them except for the final one - everyone assumes all your problems are solved when a big strong guy comes along. Of course, the princesses are thinking of their Prince Charmings but we all know Vanellope's knight in shining armour is none other than her bestie Ralph, who is anything but charming!

Anyway, reassured that she is a princess after all, the princesses start giving her advice on how the music and singing should come naturally when she realises what it is that she really wants. But she has trouble convincing them and herself that what she wants is a steering wheel (the very thing that made her and Ralph break into the Internet). In fact, after this encounter, she becomes gradually more and more unsure of whether the steering wheel is really what she needs. It is only when she takes the only piece of good advice from the princesses, that is to spend time reflecting, that she finally realises her innermost desire is to be part of the Slaughter Race game.

That's when she goes into a snazzy song a la Disney princess style, albeit accompanied by macabre scenes of car crashes, explosions and straggly dogs popping out of a shark's mouth. Even though the visuals are as far away from the usual Disney princess' backdrops as possible, there is no doubt that this is what Vanellope was made for. However, she is worried about what Ralph would think as his hopes are for her to go back to her old game Sugar Rush. Eventually, Ralph also understands that Vanellope needs to pursue her own dream and lets her go with his blessings.

Even though the Disney princesses initially attempt to stereotype Vanellope, we can also learn from their advice to her. We need to take time to seek God and reflect on who He has made us to be. If we judge ourselves by other people's standards or try to meet other's expectations of us, even if they're from our closest family and friends no matter how well-intentioned, it will only lead to confusion, frustration or depression. Our identity must be founded on the unique blueprint that God our Maker has designed us with. And only when we start to live it out will we find true purpose and fulfilment.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. - Psalm 139:14a

"It's Okay Because I Am A Mom" - some thoughts

I just finished watching this 2-episode Korean drama about a mom in her 40s who suffers from early onset of Alzheimer's, It's Okay Because I Am A Mom.

I was reminded of the fund-raising concert Symponia that Jakin had helped to organise last year in school, in aid of the Alzheimer's Disease Association. His team had invited a caregiver to share her story and many in the audience were greatly moved. Similarly, I was in tears while watching the struggles faced by the protagonist and her family members in the k drama. Unfortunately, such stories are becoming more common in our aging population. In fact, today I also happened to chance upon a short film about the Confessions of a local caregiver.

Anyway, I like the way the k drama storyline focuses on the cracks in the family which widened at the discovery of her illness. In the end, the love and sacrifices she had made for her family in the past brings redemption and restoration. The key is that the plot doesn't just gloss over the problems. The beauty is in showing how love can bring the family together in the face of setbacks and challenges and give them the strength to keep going in spite of...

That, I find, shows up the elephant in the room which many Christians refuse to acknowledge. The majority of church-goers have this false belief that they can only show the good things in their lives in order to be an effective witness for God. [The prevalence of social media where only the best side is put on display worsens it, I think.] And along with that, they also propagate the myth that all your problems will be taken away once you receive Christ, plus the much more destructive idea that if something is still wrong, then it must be due to your lack of faith.

As a result, within the church community, many are still living behind masks rather than being authentic with one another, which leads to a lack of understanding, acceptance and ultimately a failure to truly love one another. And it also means that the church is incapacitated in reaching out to the wider community because we are unable to be the incarnate Body of Christ that lives among and feels along with the people.

However, the mood is gradually changing and there is hope for the church yet. More and more believers are starting to realise that we need to be real before both God and man, and that we have to provide a safe and loving community within the church for those who are struggling, whether it is with family issues, addictions or other problems. For instance, honest conversations like Is It Safe? (about same-sex attraction) and Tidings of comfort and joy can't take the pain out of life (about death) must take place. Only then can we point people to Christ and help each other to find true peace in the midst of the storm.

"The New Rules For Love, Sex and Dating" by Andy Stanley

This is another book review by my son, Jakin, on The New Rules For Love, Sex and Dating by Andy Stanley. You can also view Andy Stanley's series of four sermons on this topic online (discussion questions are available too).

Yet another book about love, sex and dating. However, this book actually focuses on the “love” more than the “sex” and “dating” combined. Stanley defines love and challenges the reader to not only look for the partner who is loving, but to become the partner who is loving. His main question is “Are you the person the person you’re looking for is looking for?”, implying that self-improvement is the first step to dating even before searching for a suitable partner. Stanley busts many myths that are woven into today’s culture, especially the “Right Person Myth”. This helps the reader acquire a new perspective of what God’s original design for marriage and love is.

There is a very unique chapter in this book, Gentleman’s Club, Chapter 6, that addresses guys specifically. It reveals the human nature that is so evident in most guys and explains why we are so susceptible to sexual sin if left to our childish thinking. Instead of following our “hit her with a club and drag her into your cave” instinct, Stanley instructs guys to develop self-control.

Overall, this book is for anyone who is thinking of dating and has not been given the gift of celibacy. Stanley offers readers a choice to do a yearlong break from dating for those who are serial daters to compose themselves and start again, focusing on developing their own character instead of finding someone else who is perfect. For those who have yet to start, they can also take a yearlong preparation time to do the same. I recommend teens of ages around 14 and up (guys can start earlier) as long as they are mature enough to handle it.

Beauty and the Beast - arts and ethics

Not that I'm a big fan of Disney, but this article somehow got me thinking: Beauty and the Beast to feature first 'exclusively gay moment' in a Disney movie and I don't have to be a prophet to predict that there's going to be a petition soon to ban or raise the rating (currently PG) of the movie here and/or a call to boycott it.

After all, it's a mean blow to try and brainwash our impressionable kids with the gay agenda using an innocent fairy tale movie. Or is it? Are the artists on the opposite side the only ones guilty of manipulating the audience by subtly infiltrating works that are marketed as harmless frivolity with insinuating values and beliefs?

Honestly, how many times have we pretended to invite friends to a performance by XXX (insert celebrity's name) knowing full well that they will be bombarded with the gospel? What about the much-loved Veggietales which claims to promote 'Sunday Morning Values' with 'Saturday Morning Fun'? We play these videos over and over again to teach (some would say indoctrinate) our children the values and beliefs which we feel they should have.

Pot calling the kettle black, perhaps? Should we therefore take a step back and allow the other side to speak? Ok, I'm playing devil's advocate here but don't stone me yet for this is purely for the sake of discussion - comments are most welcome!

I have to put a caveat though - as a parent, I would still advise those with young children who are not yet mature enough to discern to put off watching the movie. And those with older ones, please do engage with them before and after watching and help them to process what they see. Other than gay identity, there are many other issues which I can think of for you to analyse and evaluate together, eg anger management, power and control, abusive relationships, feminism, chivalry vs chauvinism. So yes, it's fine to enjoy a bit of Disney entertainment, but keep your eyes open for opportunities to chat with your older kids too!